The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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