its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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