Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
