her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
FUCK WHALES
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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