I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
