She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
