I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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