I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
