Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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