They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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