We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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