im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
