how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
