We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
