brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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