glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
