it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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