What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
