Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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