Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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