just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she pinky promised me she was 18
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
