I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
