it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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