brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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