I feel great
I just peed on a car
Its about making memories worth repressing
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
