Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
