Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
