Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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