you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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