i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
