dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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