It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
