I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
