We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
