ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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