The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you had me at cake vodka
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
