Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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