She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
