my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't think brook has ever known best
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
