dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
