hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
