think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
