Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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