yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
