I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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