please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
