i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Houston, we have a squirter
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
