her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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