Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
