Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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