so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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