3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
