Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
