i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
